What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

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Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Why does my cat get anxious during loud noises like thunderstorms or firework displays? Is this a common behavior for cats, and is there a way to help them cope with it?

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

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Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Why don’t Jews regard Jesus as an important teacher or rabbi, if not the Messiah? Putting aside messianic claims, wouldn’t Jesus be one of the most significant Jewish teachers in human history?

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Why is there so much evil in the world?

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

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And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Make Nazis afraid again!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Why are men today so pussiefied?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Do you think President-Elect Donald Trump won the presidency fair and square, or do you think the GOP resorted to blatant unlawful practices to tilt the election?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

How do I overcome attachment issues?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

When you visit a store, do you go to shop or buy?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

TEXT:

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

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Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!